Craig chats about being kind to others and how this has impacted his life.
When I was growing up, I loved school, but there was a period of time where I was bullied and picked on. So, even though I really wanted to go to school, I didn’t enjoy it. This had such a big impact on me, my happiness and my self-confidence. Looking back, this experience followed me around until I learnt more and used it to help me help others. There were only a handful of people who were truly kind to me during this time. Because of the profound impact this had on me, it made me really think about how we can create a world where others don’t experience what I did.
This mistreatment isn’t only in schools, but can happen throughout our lives, and is often presented through microaggressions. This is where someone tuts at you, ignores you in a conversation, uses a sharp tone, etc., which, left unchecked, can turn into bullying (this all links to our amazing work with the NHS on Civility Saves Lives – to find out more, please read Rebecca’s fabulous blog).
One way we can be more aware is by choosing a mindset of curiosity, kindness and understanding. This includes not judging others for behaving differently from us and recognising that everybody behaves differently, instead of immediately thinking they’re odd, weird or a bad person. We never know what’s going on in other people’s lives, and as humans, we’re all individuals.
Recently, I began attending instructor-led sessions at my local gym. This is the first time I’ve signed up for classes, rather than just doing my own exercises, which has pushed me out of my comfort zone. A lot of this ‘discomfort’ is due to the vulnerability that surrounds attending these sessions with other people, and whether I’d view them as being in a better position than I am. The reason for this discomfort is that in my teenage years, I attended a gym where a guy would ‘support’ me. However, this support came in the form of insults and calling me nicknames as a way to motivate me. I started to believe that all gyms were like this, but my recent experience has been totally different. They’re all lovely, kind and welcoming. We laugh and train together, and the kindness I’ve received has made me want to continue and push myself further.
We often talk about the impact of random acts of kindness, which makes me think about the film ‘Evan Almighty’. This film, while funny (Steve Carell is ace!), focuses on the message of one random act of kindness. In other words, doing things that will help someone else. This kindness is just because they might need it at that moment, not because you’ve got it marked in your diary, but because you’ve chosen it as a mindset. You’re tuned into improving somebody’s day, even if it’s just a little bit.
The other week when I was in London, I’d exited a tube station and I was taking in the beautiful autumn sun, when someone walked by and bumped into me. They stormed off and turned around. Instead of getting annoyed, I just smiled at them, causing them to smile back. I could have chosen so many different ways to respond, but I don’t know what’s going on in their world. I was enjoying the sun in that moment, so I wanted to give them a bit of the joy I was feeling, and maybe even improve their day a little bit. It’s these little things we do that could mean so much to someone else. Don’t just walk past somebody without offering them your kindness and understanding.
I truly believe that kindness (along with listening) is one of the greatest gifts you can give another human being. For me, it can mean everything if somebody is able to take a step back and offer a little bit of understanding and kindness. Taking the time to truly understand and listen is what kindness means to me. Some of my favourite Beatles lyrics are, ‘The love you take is equal to the love you make’. I interpret this to mean that what you put out into the world is what you get back. It has become a mantra for me throughout life, driving me to be the person I am.
Everything I’ve spoken about is encapsulated in the often-used quote (that is attributed to many different people!), ‘In a world where you can be anything, be kind’. You can choose to be anything you want. You can choose to behave how you want – it’s all your choice! So, why not choose to be kind to someone? Why not choose to be kind to yourself? It’s not just about what you put outwards, but also what you do inside your head. What do you think about yourself? What do you say to yourself? Most of what we say inside our heads, we would never say to somebody we know, so why say it to yourself?
It doesn’t take a lot, but being kinder to others (and yourself) can have a dramatic impact on someone’s life. We don’t know what everybody is going through, but you could be that one moment in someone’s day that makes them feel special, and I think that is why we exist!
What kindness could you offer yourself and someone else today?