Tuning in to others and yourself

Craig reflects on the importance of mental health and how we can be more aware of others.

Mental health means different things to different people. For me, it means looking after my wellbeing, my way of thinking and my overall health. It’s about ensuring I’m tuned into what I’m thinking and feeling and how this is helping or hindering me. This helps me notice when stuff’s affecting me negatively, so I can ask myself, “What’s going on? What can I do about this?” This is easier said than done, because sometimes I may ignore how I’m feeling deep down – which I shouldn’t do!

Mental health awareness to me is a reminder to spot stuff in other people. You may notice a shift in someone’s energy and how they are. This could just be a micro shift – for example, they may not be giving you eye contact, they’re not texting when they usually do, they’ve stopped making jokes, or they’ve stopped being engaged and smiling. Sometimes they may be the opposite – for example, usually quiet but then suddenly full of life. There is no ‘one size fits all’. We’re all individuals – it’s about knowing people, being genuinely interested and noticing. When I notice these shifts, I like to ask people, “How are you? No, really, how are you?” or “What are you thinking about?” I’d rather keep checking someone’s ok, and them getting annoyed that I ask too often, than leave it and know they may have been struggling inside.

2 People Talking over a Coffee

Making it ok for people to open up and chat is vital. I like to reflect on this mindset question: ‘Have I created a space around me where people know they’re in a psychologically safe environment?’ It’s important to create these spaces with people and let them know it’s ok to talk. When you’re with your team, have you created an environment where it’s ok for someone to say, “I’m not feeling good today”, or that they can come forward with an issue, either around colleagues or on a one-to-one basis (even if they feel uncomfortable), as they know it’ll be met in a supportive way?

One way we do this is in our bunch catch-ups, where the whole team gets together every fortnight. Before we start each meeting, we have a check-in to hear how everyone’s doing, which is a great opportunity for a wellbeing check. When we notice a member of the bunch may be struggling, we ask them, ‘What do you need from us?’ so we can offer more support or understanding and be there for them.

I’m really proud of how tuned in we are and how we look out for each other at Rambutan. We do the same for those we partner with as well. If I notice something feels off, I like to find some time to sit down with that person, to ask what they want to talk about and how I could potentially support them. It’s important to then create the opportunity and space for the other person to talk, but also respect they may not want to in the moment (but they know you’re there for them when they’re ready). Even feeling like you’re not alone in a tough time can help.

Mind is an amazing charity, that I absolutely love, and this year, their theme for Mental Health Awareness Week was ‘No Mind Left Behind’. We all have our own stuff going on. What one person may not find a big deal could be huge for someone else. It’s important to look at what’s going on in your world but also look at someone else’s world from a place of non-judgement. Staying aware of others means we can be there to help and support them along their journey should they need it. Ask others questions without judgement, be genuinely interested in them as a human, and give advice if they ask for it (if you know how to help).

Looking out for others is simply a wonderful, humane thing to do. Please do remember to look after yourself though! Check-in with yourself, do a human equivalent of a computer virus scan, and just check you’re ok. Remember, we must put our oxygen mask on first, before being able to effectively support others!

Have you checked in with yourself today? Who could you check in with?

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