Craig chats about encouragement and how we can encourage ourselves and others.
For me, encouragement links massively to a growth mindset. It’s a choice and a lifelong belief. We should always be encouraging each other to learn, improve, be the best that we can be and overcome challenges. It’s that moment where we’re stood at the bottom of a mountain (or facing a work challenge!), and that little voice in your head says, “Come on, you can do it! You’re ace! Think about how it’ll feel when you’re finally at the top!” Encouragement is that little boost behind you, giving you a kick or high-five when you need it.
We often notice when somebody might need that invisible arm around them, as extra support and encouragement. I believe in these moments we can ask some well-placed coaching questions:
- what will it feel like when you’ve achieved what you’re working toward?
- what will success look like for you?
- where have you done stuff like this before?
These questions in themselves work as a form of encouragement, as an alternative to being someone’s cheerleader. Another approach could be some well-placed feedback, to help the individual learn and grow.
Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset highlights another amazing way of encouraging yourself. It helps us to think of what’s possible and what you could do if you knew you couldn’t fail. Reminding people of their mindset choice and the power of ‘yet’ is another important message.
Imagine if you didn’t encourage yourself, or there wasn’t anybody out there rooting for you. What might that feel like? The encouragement bit is that acceleration that gets us through a potentially tricky moment. It helps to remind us that nothing is impossible and that you can choose to achieve anything. As Audrey Hepburn is credited as once saying, “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”
We can’t always rely on others to be our encouragement. Instead, we need to be our own cheerleaders. It’s so important to see ourselves in that light because it has such a positive impact on our wellbeing, releasing all those brilliant chemicals inside of us that make us feel great! I use this helpful meditation guided app called Balance, to ensure I have a five-minute positive mindset top-up each day. It really helps me focus on the right stuff and remind myself of what makes me, well, me!
I know many of us struggle with encouraging ourselves and believing it, so why not start small? Notice your inside voice, turn up the volume on the stuff that is helping you, and challenge the stuff you say to yourself that isn’t encouraging. Remind yourself of just how amazing you are. Reflect on what you’re proud of that you’ve achieved in a day. It doesn’t need to be like I’ve run a marathon or achieved 75 work projects. Instead, it’s looking at what small things you’ve achieved because they all add up. You could even consider a bit of mindfulness. Take 10 minutes to reflect on what you’re grateful for and the positive things that have happened. Ask yourself, ‘What encouragement would I give my best friend right now if they were facing the same situation as me?’
And, if you spot yourself saying something that isn’t encouraging, ask yourself ‘Would I say that to my friend?’ I bet you wouldn’t, so why are you saying it to yourself? It’s so important to catch yourself. We’re not looking for perfection, only progression.
All of this links to kindness, not only being kind to yourself but to others around you as well. When you notice someone else needs bringing up, remind them they’re great and how fantastic they’re doing. It’s great to focus on where they are now and where they’re going, and the footprints in the sand showing where they’ve come from. I often take a moment in the day to remind myself that things will be ok and I’m enough as I am, to help me to really focus on what’s important.
How do you encourage yourself? How do you encourage others?