David reflects on what Ikigai means to him and how finding purpose has impacted his life.
I guess a lot of you reading this will be wondering, what is Ikigai? Well, it’s a Japanese concept referring to something that gives a person a sense of purpose and wellbeing… a clear and positive ‘reason for living’.
The term ‘Ikigai’ originally comes from Okinawa, Japan, where karate also originates. ‘Kara’ meaning empty and ‘te’ meaning hands, translating to empty hands, karate was created as a new self-defence/fighting technique not requiring weapons. In the second world war, when soldiers invaded Okinawa, they took the idea of karate and it spread around the world, but the principle of Ikigai remained on the island for many years to come. It seems we cared more about taking the idea of ‘fighting’ rather than a way to spread happiness and wellbeing. And yet, Okinawa is the place in the world where the most 100-year-olds per capita live. This is largely because of the way they live and view life, wellbeing and their sense of purpose.
A person who can answer these four questions with largely the same answer is seen to have Ikigai:
- What do I love doing?
- What am I really good at?
- What does the world need?
- What can I earn money with?
So, I want to share with you how I try to achieve Ikigai, but I’m hoping what I’m about to tell you isn’t going to sound like a self-indulgent, cringe fest… so bear with me! I started my career in food retail. I was reasonably good at it and I got paid well, but that was pretty much all I liked about my job and it demanded long hours. So, about 23 years ago (coinciding with the arrival of my second daughter), I decided I wanted to be a coach as I loved helping people and I was decent at coaching. I also wanted more time to spend with my family. So, I started my own management development consultancy. Suddenly, I was doing what I loved and was good at. What I failed to get to grips with was questions three and four of the Ikigai concept which was kind of critical as I was the main source of income for my family. So, my first attempt at Ikigai ground to a financially stressed failure!
There were a lot of lessons that I learnt from failure and I contemplated them whilst I honed my skills as I worked for a consultancy in London. Two years later and armed with new skills and a plan that reflected my learnings from my first attempt, I started what would ultimately be called Rambutan. As the cliché goes, the rest is history! I now feel closer to Ikigai than ever before but there’s still room to improve. I would probably give myself an 80% Ikigai score. I do what I love for most of the week and I’m finding a way not to grit my teeth through the administration parts of running a business (if it has to be done, I may as well find a way to enjoy it). I think the world seems to want what we offer, and we’re pretty good at what we do so it feels like Rambutan is having a positive impact on the world, and I find that extremely rewarding.
As I only discovered Ikigai last year, I would say it’s helped me to reflect on my journey so far and to plan the future. So, if it wasn’t Ikigai, how did I figure out that my job in food retail wasn’t helping me feel fulfilled? At the time, I believed that the higher up I rose within the business, the less work I’d have to do. It turned out, every time I got promoted, the busier I became and the more nights I had to spend away from my family. One night I’d arrived home after spending a few busy days away and my wife said to me that my first daughter, who was three at the time, was still awake and asked if I wanted to read her a bedtime story. I groaned. I’d had a long day at work and it felt like the last thing I wanted to do. My wife said to me, “Really? That’s terrible.” It was terrible! I went up, gave my daughter a hug and prepared to read her a story. I remember vividly her saying to me, “Why do you work so much?” I gave her the usual response of, “Without working we wouldn’t have this nice house and the holidays we go on… all this stuff needs paying for.” I was justifying all this time away just because of the pay I received. I remember a rising feeling of being trapped as I talked. My daughter then said to me, “Could we have less stuff and more of you?” That question right there is what caused me to change. Within three weeks of that amazing question, I quit my job which had been gradually trapping me, with more hours and more nights away. That single question made me immediately conscious of the trap and simultaneously released me from it. I never worked hours like that again. From that day on, I never missed another sports day, school play or parent-teacher discussion.
In David Graeber’s recent book, ‘Bulls***t jobs’ he states that 40% of the UK workforce are in a situation where they hate their job and that “even the person in the job cannot justify its existence.” Ikigai is a new concept to the Western world and for me, it’s the antidote to consider if you find yourself in Graeber’s 40%. You can find out even more about Ikigai by listening to Tim Tamashiro’s TED Talk.
How can you use Ikigai to reflect on your journey and plan your future? How can you ensure you have a sense of purpose and wellbeing… a clear and positive ‘reason for living’? If you can, you might even live longer!