Fed up with someone? Had it up to here with them? Here’s a little blog from Kat about moving on and reducing your stress levels.
My mum taught me from a dot, never to go to bed on an argument. I’m happy to say, it’s remained pretty much a standard for me throughout my life, and has stood me in good stead. However, it isn’t always that easy. Whether at home or in the workplace, conflict can arise with us all at some point. After a little retrospection, I’ve come up with a sort of ‘top tips’ on how to resolve a conflict or dispute, and reasons as to why it’s a good idea.
So what? Why worry about conflict?
When cartoon characters get angry, steam comes out of their ears, they turn red (blood boils??) and there may be a little jumping up and down. It’s probably not quite as entertaining to watch in reality, but our bodies both physically and psychologically react in quite extreme ways. Our heart rate quickens, muscles can tense, temperature changes, stress levels increase, rational thinking decreases, and a ‘fight or flight’ response occurs in which the body and mind prepare to fight or run from a threat. As you probably expect, these reactions can all result in negative short and long term effects.
What to do?
Based on the effects of conflict on our bodies and minds, here are some step-by-step top tips on how to avoid the stress of conflict, by resolving it as quickly and as smoothly as possible:
- Keep Calm and avoid stress! Take a few minutes to breathe deeply and slowly; reducing your speedy heart rate, relaxing muscle tension and enabling your reasoning skills to kick back in
- Listen to the other person. Often https://pharmacy-no-rx.net conflicts continue because both parties are too busy trying to have their say, rather than actually listening to each other. Slow down and take turns to speak
- Confirm your understanding of the situation with each other by seeing the situation through the other person’s eyes. Clarity is essential in all conflict. Ask questions like, “is this what you mean?” Showing an understanding of the situation, from either viewpoint, helps to show empathy…the first step towards achieving a resolution
- See if you can find areas of agreement within the conflict. This may take the actual cause of the conflict further back to deeper roots, in which case there could be common ground or an agreed factor which can diffuse any subsequent ‘issues’ arising from it
- Talk through all the possible options for moving forward towards a resolution. This may take some time, but believe me, spending time on throwing around ideas, brainstorming in a way, can be a therapeutic and satisfying way of coming up with a solution that works for all
- By now an option that might be agreeable to both parties should have come to light. If not, there may be a requirement to head back to step 4, before brainstorming some more options. If there is now a solution, congratulations! The stress and conflict are over and everyone can move on!
- Food for thought on how to deal with conflict without a suitable or achievable solution is that everyone is ‘wired up differently’ and people all deal with situations in their own specific ways and within their own capabilities. This may mean a compromise might be the best option, rather than a solution that suits both parties
- Deep breaths…happy thoughts…and good luck resolving your conflict!